


Reflections

by Arvanion



Series: Commissioned Work [8]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arvanion/pseuds/Arvanion
Summary: While pondering her circumstances, Nyx receives an unexpected visitor.(Commission for the-sun-princess.)





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> For [Sun](http://the-sun-princess.tumblr.com/), who was intrigued by the possibility of a friendship between these two and inspired me to think something up.

The water of the lake lapped at Nyx’s knees as the mage slowly walked out from the shore. In the grey half-light of morning, her reflection was an indistinct blur, obscured even more by the ripples her passage made.

The water still carried some of the departed winter’s chill, but Nyx wasn’t particularly bothered. Decades of magical study had strengthened her mind, allowing her to shut out most minor discomforts if she wished.

She waded on until the water was up to her waist. Then she stopped, looking down at her distorted reflection, waiting for the water to settle.

This was the moment she hated most--repeated over and over through the years, a brief moment of hope always dashed. Nyx stared at the water, as if she could change the outcome by her will alone.

But it was always the same. When the water stilled, it was the same too-young face staring back up at her, the same unnaturally youthful body. Only the eyes hinted at the truth--full of too much weariness and despair for the girl Nyx seemed to be.

_ The girl that I was,  _ Nyx thought.  _ Brilliant, ambitious, but prideful. A foolish girl who thought she could do anything.  _ She dipped her hands in the water, scooping it up, watching it run through her fingers.

They were too small, too slender, too smooth. The curse that stopped her from aging kept them that way. Her palms never bore calluses from the mortar and pestle she kept, no matter how many herbs she ground, seeking a solution.

_ They’re a child’s hands. Yet, when I look upon them, I cannot help but see them stained with the blood they’ve spilled… _

She clenched her fists and dropped them to her sides, where they splashed quietly in the water. The ripples disturbed the lake, and for just a moment, Nyx could pretend once again that she was simply an ordinary woman.

The fantasy never lasted, of course. Nyx had no illusions that her atonement would be easy. As likely as not, she would wear this guise until the day she died, still weighed down by her sins--a burden that felt palpable enough to bear her down into the lake’s depths.

“Nyx?”

A soft voice from the water’s edge called out, and Nyx turned, wondering who else would be up and about at this early hour.

She caught a flash of white reflected in the water, and immediately realized who it must be.

“Azura. Was there something you wished to speak about?”

“Not particularly. I was just surprised to see you here.”

“Is that so?” Nyx smiled faintly. “Perhaps you should not be. After all, we dark mages are given to all manner of eccentricities. It could well be that I am in the midst of some arcane ritual.”

“If I am interrupting--”

“Not at all. I spoke in jest.”

“Ah.”

“You must forgive me. Years of isolation take their toll on one’s sense of humor. Stay with me, if you would. Even if you have nothing specific in mind, it would still do me good to converse with you.”

“Perhaps before that, you should come out of the water,” Azura suggested. “It would not do for you to catch cold and sicken.”

“Quite true.” Nyx turned fully to the shore, beginning to make her way back.  _ For all the effort I put into honing my mind, I never gave much consideration to my body. I always was frail… perhaps I always will be. _

Azura wordlessly handed Nyx a towel as she stepped ashore. The mage accepted it, wrapping the thick fabric around her slight frame like a cloak. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

The two women sat in silence for a few minutes, as the ripples of Nyx’s passage through the lake gradually subsided. It was only when the lake was mirror-smooth again that Nyx spoke.

“In a way, I feel as if the two of us are kindred spirits.”

“How so?” Azura’s brow furrowed slightly, but she did not seem to disagree.

“Neither one of us are particularly given to outward shows of emotion,” said Nyx. “Nor are we the most adept when it comes to speaking with others.” She smiled. “Though you have a definite advantage over me in that regard.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Simply that you are far more approachable than I am.” Nyx gestured to herself with one hand. “People tend to find me unsettling. Myself included. How else should they feel, when my own sins cursed me into this form?”

“It must be difficult for you,” said Azura softly.

“Pity?” Nyx’s mouth quirked into a wry grin. “That’s a different reaction than I expected. I’m not sure it’s the reaction I deserve, either. I have a great deal to atone for.”

Azura averted her eyes. “My apologies. I had not meant for that to be an insult.”

“Oh, I’m not insulted. Just… surprised.” Nyx looked out over the lake. “Most people react with scorn and disgust when they know the truth about me. So why do you not?”

“Because I understand how it feels. Perhaps not as keenly as you do, but still.” Azura’s fingers fidgeted with the pendant at her throat. “I know what it is to be judged for who you have been, not who you are. No matter how dark your past may have been, it is not too late for you to change. If you truly strive for redemption, who am I to question that?”

Nyx’s thin shoulders shook. For a moment, Azura wondered what she’d said wrong, but then she realized the mage was laughing.

“By the gods, girl. It does my heart good to listen to you.” She reached out to put a hand on Azura’s shoulder. “The world has been cruel to you, yet you still find the courage to hope in spite of everything.”

Spots of color appeared high in Azura’s cheeks. “You give me too much credit. It is not as if I found that courage alone. It was through the kindness of friends that I was able to find my way again.” She put her hand on top of Nyx’s and met the other woman’s eyes with a smile. “That is what I wish to be for you--even if you do not believe yourself deserving.”

“A friend?” Nyx closed her eyes, breathing deeply, and mentally repeated the words to herself.  _ A friend. It has been some time since I last had one. _

“Nyx?”

Nyx belatedly realized that she had fallen silent for an uncomfortably long period of time, and came to abruptly. “Forgive me, Azura. I was…” She laughed, slightly self-deprecating. “As your song would have it, lost in thoughts.”

“At least you did not fall asleep,” said Azura with a faint giggle. “This is hardly the weather for such things, attired as you are.”

“Indeed.” Nyx got to her feet, brushing off sand. “The rest of the camp will be waking soon. We should head back.”

“Yes.”

Side by side, the two women made their way back toward the camp, as the dawn’s light slowly turned the lake’s surface from silver to gold. Nyx did not look back. Her thoughts still wandered, an ever-present swirl of old guilt and new sorrows. But they no longer seemed to weigh as heavily on her.

She was no longer alone.


End file.
